My sister hasn't spoken to me, really, since I got married.  Maybe a couple of superficial conversations, but she's made it quite clear she hates me.  The general consensus is that subconsciously, she hates me for getting married.  While I think there's a lot of evidence to support that theory, in general, I think she just has relationship issues and pushes anyone she's close to for a period of time as far away as possible.  I won't lie.  It bothers me.  I lie awake at night crying about it, more often than I care too.  But I'm not sure how to address it.  I've tried explaining.  I've tried apologizing.  And I think it really just boils down to, she wants to be mad at me, and there's nothing I can do to dissuade her, until she decides that's what she wants.

Anyway, as much as I feel it bothers me, I spent a great part of tonight reaching out to people I have loved, who I have lost touch with.  Namely people I met when I worked at Disney 10 years ago.  It was a magnificent time in my life, and I miss it dearly (but wouldn't wish to be back at that point.)  I sent an email to the girl I considered to be the best friend I've ever had, who uncerimoniously "dumped" me.  But we had an amazing friendship.  And loads of adventures.  And I wish I knew what was going on in her life.

And in the midst of all this reaching out, I realized that I don't even want to reach out to my sister.  I wish she was capable of normal, healthy relationships.  And maybe some general common decency, and then I'd love to have her in my life.

I'm not sure if I find this disturbing, or relieving, but either way, still very sad.

(although really, I'm still enjoying the joy of today, and it's sort of overpowering any sad that may try to encroach.)

I hung clothes out on the line. When John tried to bring them in, this bird flew out of his pants. It's scared. Does anyone know what it is?

Edit: It has been out there for over an hour. And it is still breathing really fast. *worried*

jonsiandalex.com

Desperately wishing The Brothers Bloom was out on DVD so I could curl up and watch it right now.  Le Sigh.

I want to explode with happy.  Today was such a good, good day, I can't figure out how to contain it.  I'm bouncing and shaking and just, excited, to remember what one whole good day feels like.  I don't even know that there was much that anyone else would consider spectacularily awesome, but it was just a nice pile up of one pretty nice thing after another.

At one point I found myself standing in a dumpster amongst broken glass, swinging a pick ax (not at the glass, but at the rather large chunk o' former display cabinet that was jammed between the edges of the dumpster.) 

And have you heard of Tanga?  I guess I found Tanga years ago, but hadn't been there in years, and rediscovered it this week.  I've spent every spare moment I can find solving puzzles.  My nights might start revolving around being ready at my computer the moment they post new puzzles.

Both videos are under 40 seconds. The first is from wakanomori

( a ride down country lanes in Dorset )

( birdsong on a cloudy New England morning )

Isn't this the most adorable picture ever?

It's my gramma at age 4, a cat lady from the very beginning.

W
T
F

GMail really really wants to sell me cornhole bags. Like, for days now, that's the main ad I've been getting.

After looking over the site for a while, I'm pretty sure it doesn't mean "condoms for anal sex" or "colostomy kits", but I can't for the life of me figure out what these little pillow things are for. I mean, yes, for your anus, but HOW?

We are new to the city as parents. We have an 8 yr old who has some physical under developments so he can not do alot of normal activities such as karate, little league etc. We live in the avandale/Irving park area. What kinds of activities are out there for him to make new friends during the summer? Any and all suggestions are welcome.

Another question to is what are some good grade schools in this area as well? He is goining into the third grade and very intelligent(reading, math, writing and spelling are that of at least a fifth grader) and he is very shy. CPA is useless on trying to find the right school.

Thanks all in advance.

Animals--especially omnicarnivorous ones-- are like fairy folk. Observe:

( cunningly crafted comparison table )

I've seen bears now and then, and foxes. Today I think I saw a coyote. At first I thought it was a fox, but it was much too big for a fox, more the size of a small deer... so I think it was a coyote. The coloring was more foxy than coyotelike, though. But perhaps there's variation in coyote coloring, around here.

It was about 75 yards ahead of me, up the road, and it crossed from one side to the other. It loped. It had a long tail.

So the freakish Chicago weather continues, after yesterday's 119-year record breaking HIGH temp of 65 degrees. I hate this town more and more every day.

I got my wedding dress and am glad to be done with one more damn thing. I seriously am SO SICK of wedding shit I could vomit. I've taken to not deciding anything anymore - I just say yeah ok whatever because I don't even care. As long as the thing's legal and we're married by the end of that day, I'm fine.

My skin looks like absolute hell because (I guess) I'm stressed out. Though I don't feel overwhelmingly stressed. Anyway I look like I'm 16 and should be using proactive. People have suggested I get a massage - I may do that very thing on Saturday while Dave has his bachelor party. I hope it doesn't rain for him - it's supposed to be on a rooftop for the Cubs game. His party sounds like fun and I wish I was going! But of course that would be dumb. But still. I'm jealousing. (royalties paid to aeamek for use of that word)

Some cemetery in my fair state is digging up graves to resell them. Genius! Why didn't I think of that? Oh wait, it's illegal - darn.

A man died in the most delicious way possible by falling into a vat of hot chocolate. I say if you have to die, this is a pretty good way to go. He probably should have tried to eat his way out. (Yeah that's right I'm making jokes about a dead guy)

Also, it appears Michael Jackson is dead.

( Recent Shared Posts )

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I had very odd dreams last night.
It involved two former friends who dropped me in a very cruel way, but it was wider than that.
Apparently a group drugged people and left them places. Not actually doing any harm to the people they drugged, but of course the people who were drugged didn't know that - all they knew is that they woke up someplace that they'd never been before.

So I was one of the drugged people, desperately trying to find out what had happened to me. Even the people I went to for help and counseling were in on it. One of them made some sort of comment, once I found out about what was going on, about having to play both sides of it - convincing the drugged person that they were actually a bit crazy.

The whole point was to recruit the drugged person after the experience. It was some sort of game.

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I do not blame this dream on manintheboat's cooking last night, which was superb. Anytime I think I don't like something (soup, beets), she proves me wrong with her cooking.

She's threatening mushrooms.

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I met more neighbors tonight! And MAN did they know all the gossip from around our little enclave! Alas, cute guys on opposite corner are gay. Of course.